Three mistakes of my life

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Eighteen

Are trains ever on time?' Mama's loud voice interrupted us while we were at
work. Ish dragged out a heavy box of wickets from the godown.
'Mama, you here so early?' Omi said.
Mama kept two pink paper boxes on the wicket box. He had a tikka from the
morning prayers on his forehead.
'I had bought hot kachoris for my son and other sevaks. Their train was
supposed to reach at 5 a.m. But it is five hours late. Now what to do? Thought I
will have them with you,' Mama said and took out a kachori.
'So leftover breakfast for us?' Omi said and laughed.
'They are absolutely fresh. I'll get more when they come. Eat them while they
are still hot, come Ish, Govind,' Mama said.
'Didn't know you boys come here so early,' Mama said. The shop's clock said
eight o' clock.
'Had some work in the godown,' I said and took a bite of a kachori. It tasted
delicious.
We ordered tea and sat on the stools outside the shop.
Mama talked to Omi about their relatives. Ish and I discussed the delivery plan
for the day. The shop didn't open until nine. We could eat in peace.
'Third round of tea? Ok? Yeah good,' Mama said and called for the tea-boy
again. I had two kachoris and felt full.
Mama stood up to leave at 9.30 a.m. I wrapped the boxes back for him.
'Keep them,' Mama said, 'I'll get more anyway.'
'No Mama, we have had enough...'
Mama's phone ring interrupted me. Mama picked up the phone. His face
became serious. His mouth opened and his eyes darted around.
'I don't know the coach number, why are you asking me?' Mama said.
'What's up Mama?' Omi said.
Mama put his hand on the phone and turned to Omi.
'It is a junior party official in Ayodhya. He put our sevak team in the train the
day before. Now he wants the coach number. And he isn't telling me why,' Mama
said.
'Wait,' Omi said and went inside the shop. He came out with a notebook.
'Here, I had noted the PNR number and other details while making the
booking,' Omi said.
Mama took the notebook and spoke on the phone again.
'Ok listen, they were in S6 ... yeah, it says S6, hundred per cent S6, hello listen
... why are you praying while talking to me? Hey, hello...'
The person on the other end hung up the phone. Mama tried to call the
number back but no one picked up. 'What's going on?' I said.
'I don't know. I have to ... I'll go to the station,' Mama said.
'I'll come with you?' Omi said. 'No, it's fine. I had to go anyway. I'll find out,'
Mama said and left.
Two hours later the whole country had found out.
'Stop flipping channels," I screamed at Omi, 'they are all showing the same
thing.'
We stopped at NDTV. The newsreader repeated the news for the tenth time.'At least fifty people died and more than a dozen injured when miscreants set
fire to a bogie of the Sabarmati Express near the Godhra station in Gujarat on
Wednesday morning.' The channel dialled in a railway official from Godhra on the
phone.
'Can you tell us what exactly is going on sir?' the newsreader said.
'We are still getting reports. But at around 8.30 in the morning Sabarmati
Express arrived at Godhra station,' the official said as his voice waned.
'Hello, can you hear us?' the newsreader said several times.
'Yes, I can now,' the official said and continued his story.
From what the channels knew at that point, a mob stoned a bogie of the
Sabarmati Express. The bogie contained kar sevaks returning from Ayodhya. The
passengers shut the metal windows to protect themselves from the stones. The
mob threw petrol on the bogie and set it on fire.
'What mob is this? Does it look premeditated?' the newsreader asked.
The railway official avoided controversy. 'The police has arrived and are
investigating the matter. Only they can comment on this.'
Ish, Omi and I watched TV non-stop. We cancelled all deliveries for the day.
'Mama's not picking up, I've tried ten times,' Omi said and threw his phone
aside.
TV channels had reached Godhra station. We saw the burnt bogie. The rest of
the train had already left for Ahmedabad. A tea vendor revealed more than the
railway official.
'The mob had Muslims. They had an argument with the Hindu kar sevaks and
burnt everyone - women, children,' the tea vendor said.
'We have fifty-eight people dead and over twenty injured, as per reports from
the Godhra hospital,' the newsreader said, 'and we have just received
confirmation that the burnt bogie was S6.'
'Did she say S6?' Omi said, turning to me.
I kept quiet. I didn't want to confirm the bad news.
'Did she? My brother is in that bogie.' Omi said and ran
out.
We came out of the shop. Every shopkeeper had a tense expression.
'They burn little kids, see what kind of a community is this,' a florist said to his
neighbouring mithai shop owner.
'Early morning in a railway station. Look at their guts,' another shopkeeper
said.
'They struck America in broad daylight too. Now the fuckers have reached
Gujarat. And Delhi will suck their dicks,' the florist said. One rarely heard curse
words in the temple, but today was different. Of all the days in my life, today was
different.
Omi came out of the temple with his father, mother and Mama's wife. All
shopkeepers, Ish and I gathered around them.
'Get my Dhiraj. I say get my Dhiraj,' Mama's wife's wails echoed against the
temple walls.
'I'll go to the station and find out,' Omi said. He tried Mama's phone again, but
it did not connect.
'Don't go, the city is not safe,' the florist said. Omi's mother clutched Omi's
hand.
'There could be a curfew soon. Let's shut shops and go home,' a florist said.The shopkeepers dispersed. Dhiraj's mother's tears didn't stop.
'Don't worry, Mama will call back. The news is sketchy. We don't know what
happened,' I said.
'Come home son,' Omi's father said to Omi.
'I'll help them shut the shop,' Omi said.
We went back to the shop. We had to customers that morning, and didn't
expect any more.
'Do you have gloves Ish bhaiya? Mine are worn out,' Ali's voice startled us. We
had packed the shop by one o'clock.
'What the hell are you doing here?' Ish said.
Ali was taken aback. He wore a yellow T-shirt and an old pair of jeans. Luckily,
he wasn't wearing his skull cap.
'I am getting ready for practice. We have one at 4.30 today
no?'
'You haven't seen the news?' I said. 'We don't have TV,' he said. 'And your
abba?'
'He took ammi to her parents in Surat. He will come at six.'
'And you didn't go?' Ish said.
'How could I? We had practice. Don't want to do hundred push-ups for missing
practice,' Ali said and laughed, 'hey why are you shutting down the shop? My
gloves...'
'Nothing, you come with us. Don't be alone at home,' Ish said as he downed the
shutters.
'Us?' Omi said in a firm voice.
'You go Omi, your parents and aunt need you,' Ish said. 'And you?' Omi said.
'Am taking Ali home. I'll drop him off when his parents come back.'
Omi looked at me to say something. I shrugged my shoulders.
'You want to come to my place?' Ish said to me. We walked out of the temple
compound.
I wanted to see Vidya. But it wasn't the best time, and Vidya would not be in
the best mood anyway. I wondered if I should SMS her again.
'No, my mother would be worried too,' I said. She'd probably he in the kitchen,
preparing dough for the evening dhokla.
I reached home. Over lunch, I told my mother what had happened at Godhra.
My mother made me swear that I'd never fall in love with a Muslim girl. I felt tired
after the two sleepless nights and the events on the TV, and took an afternoon
nap. Omi's phone call woke me up.
'Hey what's up Omi? Got in touch with Mama?' I said and rubbed my eyes. The
phone's clock showed it was 5.30 p.m.
'I lost my brother Govind. He died on the spot,' Omi said and his voice broke.
He started crying. I lifted myself off the bed and stood up.
'Mama called. He is devastated,' Omi said.
'Is he at home?' I said.
'No, he went to the party office. All the workers are with him to support him. He
told me not to tell his wife or anyone else. Like they haven't guessed.'
'It's horrible. Omi, it's horrible,' I said. I shuddered to think we almost took that
trip.
'I can't keep silent at home and not show it. I have to get out,' Omi said.
'Then come home,' I said. 'Where is Ish?' Omi said.'I don't know, can you stay on the line?' I said. I put Omi's line on hold and
called Ish. He picked up after ten rings. 'Ish, where are you? Why do you take so
long to pick up?' 'I am at the bank. I came with Ali to practice.' 'Is this the time to
practice?'
'What? I became sick of staying at home all day. And dad gave me dirty looks
because Ali was with me. So I said, screw it, let's hit some balls.'
'Ish, horrible news. Dhiraj is...,' I said and stopped mid-sentence.
'Oh no,' he said, 'really?'
'Yeah, Omi told me. Mama told him to keep quiet at home. He wants to get out.'
'Come over here then,' Ish said.
'Ok,' I said. I hung up on Ish and switched to the other line. 'Come to the bank.
Leave now before it gets dark,' I said to Omi.
'Mom, don't cook for me. We'll make something at the bank,' I said as I left the
house.
'Trouble has started in the city. I heard a mob burnt two buses down in
Jamalpur,' Omi said.
We came to the tuition area of the backyard to have our dinner. Omi had
cooked potato curry and rice.
'Rumour or true?' I said.
'True, a local TV channel showed it as I left,' Omi said, It's strange at home.
Mami is still praying for Dhiraj's safety.'
Omi's body shook. He broke into tears. I held his hand as he hugged me.
Ali looked at us. I smiled back at him. I went to the room where we kept books
and brought back three Phantom comics. I gave them to Ali as he happily read
them with his meal.
We sat away from Ali so he could not hear us.
'The mob that burnt the Jamalpur bus, Hindu or Muslim?' 1 said.
'I don't know, I'm really scared,' Omi said.
We finished dinner and cleaned the kitchen by eight. We were planning to leave
when Ish's phone rang. It was his dad. Ish hesitated to pick it up and did so only
after half a minute.
I had dinner. I'll be back in half an hour...,' Ish said, 'what?'
We turned to look at Ish. I could only hear his side of the conversation.
'Ok ... Ok ... listen, I am at the bank. We are safe here. Yes, I promise we won't
walk out on the streets ... yes we have bedding here. Don't panic.'
I gave Ish a puzzled look.
'A building in our pol caught fire,' Ish said.
'Wow, which one?' I said.
'The Muslim one at the corner,' Ish said.
'It caught fire? By itself?' I said.
'That is what dad is hoping. But it could be a Hindu mob. Dad said stay
wherever you are.'
'Our moms will worry. Govind's would too,' Omi said.
'Call them,' Ish said, I can't take Ali to his home too. His parents don't even
have a phone,' Ish said.I called my mother and told her I would be safe at the bank. We had slept over
at the bank several times in the past. Many booze parties had ended with us
passing out on the mattresses in the branch manager's room on the first floor.
We sat on couches in the cashier waiting area and played cards after dinner.
Ali slept soon. Ish brought a quilt from the manager's office and tucked him in on
a separate sofa.
Omi dropped three cards. 'Three aces,' Omi said with an extra-straight face. He
sucks at bluff.
I tapped the cards. I wondered whether to turn them. Loud chants disrupted
my thought.
'What's that?' I said. I saw the time - 10 p.m. 'Those are Hindu chants,' Omi
said. 'Angry-Hindu chants,' Ish said. Calls to Shiva and Rama combined with
drumbeats. We climbed the stairs two floors to reach the bank's roof. The city
glowed orange in the thick winter night. One, two, three -I saw three balls of
flame across the pols. The nearest flame came from a building fifty yards away. A
crowd of people stood outside. They threw stones on the burning building. I
couldn't see well, but could hear the screams of the people inside the pol. The
screams mixed with celebratory chants. You may have heard about riots several
times or even seen them on TV. But to witness them in front of your eyes stuns
your senses. My neighbourhood resembled a calamity movie film set. A burning
man ran across the road. The Hindu mob chased him. He stumbled on a stone
and fell, around twenty yards away from us. The mob crowded over him. Two
minutes later, the crowd moved away while the man lay still. I had witnessed
someone's death for the first time in my life. My hands, face, neck, legs -
everything turned cold. My heart beat in the same irregular way as it did on the
day of the earthquake. Nature caused that disaster, man made this one. I don't
know which is more dangerous.
'Come inside,' Ish tugged hard at my sleeve.
We went downstairs. My body shivered.
'It's fine. Let's go to sleep. The police will come soon. By morning it will be ok,'
Ish said as he put his arm around me.
'Can we sleep together?' I said. Yes, I admit it, I felt super scared.
Ish nodded. He picked up Ali from the couch. We went to the branch manager's
room on the first floor and shut the door. I checked my phone before going to bed.
Vidya had given me a missed call. I was in no state of mind to call or SMS back.
Ish lay next to me anyway. I kept the phone in my pocket.
I took three quilts and slept in the middle next to Ali. Omi and Ish surrounded
us. We switched off the lights at 10.30 p.m.
At 11.30 p.m. I woke up again. We heard a shattering noise. Someone shook
the main gate of the bank.
'Who is it,' I said. Ish stood up and wore his shirt.
'Let's find out,' Ish said and shook Omi's leg, 'come Omi.'
We went downstairs. I switched on the main lobby lights. Ish looked through
the keyhole.
'It's the mob,' Ish said, one eye still on the keyhole, 'Mama is leading the pack.'
We looked at each other. Ish turned the door knob and opened the door.